VICTORY WILL BE MINE!!
My wonderful mother suggested I start blogging my journey through this new "chapter" in my life! So, here it is and I promise to keep it updated as often as I can. Something tells me that I will have quite a bit of free time to do so. :P
I guess since I haven't written in such a long time and update is in order.
Kennedy is now 15 months old and such a blessing in my life. She is meeting all her milestones and keeping her mother on her toes! She managed to climb an entire flight of steps by herself without me knowing today - thankfully I found her before she attempted to come down them.
But she isn't the reason for the sudden interest of update of this blog and in fact - this blog may take on a whole new life. Keep on reading and you'll see what I mean...
FEBRUARY 14, 2010
I found a lump on my left breast. Sure, I've felt lumps before, but this one felt different. Hard, big, and suspicious... I informed my husband of my finding who reassured me it was probably nothing, not to worry, and we would call my OB in the morning.
FEBRUARY 15, 2010
I called my new OB's office who agreed to see me at 5:15pm that evening. The only appointment they had available. Chris, my husband, drove me since the snow was falling pretty fast and the roads were getting slick.
I went to my appointment at Greater Pittsburgh OB-Gyn in Moon. The doctor believes that the lump is a Fibroadenoma since there isn't a family history of cancer.
They scheduled me for an ultrasound at 8am. After the results come back, the doctor said she would call to discuss where we go from there (i.e whether or not it is what she thinks it is or worse, cancerous). Most likely she said the lump will need removed and I will need surgery. The nice thing though is she is pretty sure it is benign.
FEBRUARY 16, 2010
So I went to Magee this morning (which took me two hours coming from Moon, left at 7am, got there at 9am) for my ultrasound. I was surprised that even though I was late, they took me as soon as my paper work was filled out. I had my ultrasound and then another one immediately afterward with the doctor in the room. I was kind of surprised that the doctor actually came in to look at the ultrasound himself and actually maneuver the wand around himself. After all the technician had been saving the images and capturing the many angles of my "lump." By the time the second ultrasound was done there were two doctors (Dr. Loo & Dr. Hoffman), a second gentleman who they identified, but unsure of his role, and the ultrasound technician...
I was then whisked away for a mammogram which struck me as odd considering just after getting settled in, one of the nurses told me I was too young at 31 to need or even be considered for one since we have no family history of breast cancer. I just went with the flow and didn't think twice about it while they squeezed both breasts and took images from multiple angles.
I then was told to wait because a biopsy would be needed and they had to get the script from my doctors office. It didn't take too much longer and before I knew it a third Dr. was doing yet another ultrasound. It was just me, her, & another technician in the room. She asked if the other doctor's had told me anything and of course I said no, that everyone had been hush, hush, but at that point things started to seem odd and out of place to me. Multiple doctors in the ultrasound room, the sudden need for the mammogram, and not letting me leave without the biopsy.... As the third Dr. (Dr. Charmin?) was looking around on the monitored, she turned it to me and said well I hate to be the one to say this to you, but I am fairly certain it is cancer. At this point I was in shock... She stated she has seen lots of images in her career and would not have said anything if she wasn't pretty sure. I asked her before we began if she would be the one to talk to my husband, since he was home taking care of Kennedy.
The biopsy started and the other female Dr. (Dr. Loo?) joined the room to assist. It took about an hour and three shots of lidocaine to remove the samples they needed. My wound was dressed and I got my discharge papers and a list of surgeons.
Dr. Hoffman, who was the most senior of the doctors present today, called Chris and filled him in, but never mentioned cancer. He stated that we will only know for sure in 3-5 business days. Only the one doctor and the technician referenced cancer and even did so with Dr. Loo in the room. Her mannerisms suggested she agreed with other doctor's statement but would not speak anything of it, which I assume is because of liability reasons.
I know it is about 2-3cm in size and not a cyst. That was all the information I got from my appointment today...
FEBRUARY 18, 2010
Today is the day I got the news: CANCER. So, I just got off the phone with Dr. Hutchinson at Greater Pittsburgh OB-GYN. They informed me that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma - Nuclear Grade 3. No clue what this means, but it doesn't sound good. They said they don't have all of the information yet as the samples are still going through the staining process. I meet with Dr. Ronald Johnson at Magee on Monday at noon to develop a plan of attack and get more information.
FEBRUARY 22, 2010
My husband, mom, dad and I made the trip to Magee this morning for my appointment with Dr. Johnson, my surgeon. He was very thorough, but really didn't have a ton of new information for us as my biopsy results haven't come back yet. He explained that he wants me to see an oncologist first and go from there.
He has me set up for a battery of tests which start tomorrow... I have an appointment tomorrow at Magee with the oncologist, then a bone scan. So, I will be at the hospital all day again tomorrow.
Wednesday I have a CT/PET Scan.
I also am awaiting a phone call from a genetic specialist doctor to see if the cancer is just "bad luck" or "bad genes" since we really do not have history of breast cancer in my family. I am almost hoping this is just a case of bad luck. If it is the opposite, my sister, nieces, mom, and Kennedy will have to be tested to see if they carry the gene. That just scares the daylights out of me. I am also worried because if it is bad genes, the mention of a double mastectomy was brought up.
Right now we are still in the dark on the "signature" of this cancer. Once we know the make-up, a lot of our questions will be answered... As of right now Dr. Johnson and the rest of my family is praying for a case of bad luck, that we can shrink the cancer mass with chemo, and remove what little might remain and limit the amount of reconstruction needed. He wants me to undergo Chemo while I am healthy and not undergoing it while recovery from major surgery. Makes sense to me...
FEBRUARY 23, 2010
To say my husband and I are exhausted would be an understatement. This week has been CRAZY! I never imagined our world would be tossed upside down by cancer.
Today we met with the oncologist. We were at Dr.'s for over 3 hours this morning. They still do not have all the answers. My HER-2 number? is still undergoing testing/further analysis. Until they get that back we won't know which forms of chemo or trials I might be able to undergo.
I did learn that our ability to have children in the future will be compromised. I was essentially told that I can see a fertility specialist, undergo treatments, and save some embryo's in the event we can not get pregnant after I beat this or we can get started with chemo as early as next week. My husband and I have had a lot to digest over this past week, so we agreed to meet with the fertility doctor Thursday to get the full scoop. Supposedly the chemo ages me (my eggs/uterus) 10+ years and will possibly put me into early menopause. But our doctor said there was a chance we could still get pregnant without help once I am healthy again. I think this was the hardest news we got today. I know in my heart my family isn't complete, but my husband doesn't feel right about creating embryo's for a "what if" situation when the percentage of not needing them is greater than 50%. I guess the fertility doctor is just going to clarify the details and present a clear picture for us.
Other than that, the only other real news we know is that the cancer is estrogen-receptor positive. Another reason for us NOT to do hormone injections. It will only help "feed" the cancer.
Tomorrow I get a CT/PET Scan. Thursday is the fertility doctor & a MUGA Scan. And Monday we go back to the oncologist to discuss chemo. They want to start that right away.
Thanks again for all the prayers, thoughts, and offers for help. My husband and I both appreciate them.
FEBRUARY 24, 2010
Today was a rough one... The fertility doctor told us that our chances of conceiving a child post chemo without help are about 10%. We were informed of our options and have decided against harvesting any eggs and creating embryo's. Both my husband and i are pretty religious and are placing our faith in God. When all is said and done, if we are blessed with another child, then GREAT, WONDERFUL.... If not, then that is fine too. Many options exist today - adoption is a definite possibility for us. Plus we feel blessed to have Kennedy. A healthy, vibrant, beautiful little girl who need her mother to FIGHT this demon. I plan on being here for a long time and hope to make her proud one day.
We almost canceled the fertility doctor appointment and I am sooo glad we didn't. Another option was presented to us that I believe Chris and I are going to do, with the approval of my oncologist. Essentially I would be given a shot called Lupron which would shut down my reproductive system, placing me in menopause essentially. So instead of me releasing an egg each month, those eggs could be saved and give us that much more of a shot to hopefully have a second child one day, God willing.
WHEW! Well, sorry about that being one overwhelming entry!!! Hopefully my next posts won't be as long. :-)
WHAT'S NEXT?
Well, tomorrow I get stuck again and have MORE blood word to see if my liver can tolerate the Lupron and Monday we go back to the oncologist to hopefully get some much desired answers.
Thanks in advance for all the thoughts, well wishes, and prayers. Chris, myself and my family certainly appreciate them!!!
