And the countdown to chemo begins!

My mom, dad, Chris, and I were back at Magee this Monday to meet with the oncologist and had great hopes of finding out more specifics of my treatment and what we are dealing with.

Answers we were seeking and answers we got! I was thrilled to hear that my CT/PET scan came back almost all clear. Only one area of concern - my L2 Vertebrae. It had show bright on scan and both the oncologist and the radiologist agreed that we needed to further investigate to make sure there was nothing to be concerned about. So after my oncologist appointment I had to have yet ANOTHER test - an MRI or my L2 vertebrae. Fortunately the wonderful office staff got me an appointment that day and we were able to get the test done on this trip. We still do not have an information or results back from this test, but I can only assume no news is good news, right?

I was given the Lupron shot at this office visit to essentially place me into a medical menopause while undergoing chemotherapy. Essentially it will shut down my reproductive system. It will also give the gal who is always hot, hot flashes and all the glorious things menopause brings. So with this drugs help, instead of me releasing an egg each month, those eggs could be saved and give us that much more of a shot to hopefully have a second child one day, God willing.

I start chemotherapy on March 15th and will continue every three weeks to receive it for six sessions. That morning I will arrive at Magee VERY early to have surgery to have a port placed, then begin the first of 6 chemo treatments. The chemo treatments will be every three weeks and will last about 4 hours. The cocktail of drugs they will be using will include Carboplatin, Taxotere, and Herceptin. The Herceptin drug will continue for a full year and as it was explained to me is one extra drug we can use in are arsenal to fight the cancer. My HER-2 number wasn't exactly positive, but wasn't an absolute negative. Which from my understanding is a good thing - because if I was HER-2 positive, from the little knowledge I have, it would mean the cancer is much more aggressive. The doctor also said due the size of the tumor, the cancer is at a stage II with no nodules.

Once the chemo starts I will have to continue to go for MUGA Scans every three months to keep an eye on my heart since the drug Herceptin has a 3% effect on the heart.

I was told I can be around friends and family during chemo, but need to be careful around those who are sick. The chemo will lower my blood counts which help me fight off diseases and I will be much more susceptible to getting sick. In fact, at Kennedy's well baby visit today, they would NOT give her the Chicken Pox vaccine because it is a live virus and can stay in her system for 6 weeks which would be me at a huge risk - even though I had chicken pox as a child. Also, if I spike a fever of 100 degrees or higher, I must be admitted to the hospital for IV antibiotics.

Lastly, because of the amount of Taxotere they are using they said I would definitely lose my hair within 2 weeks of starting chemo. I have lined up an appointment to get one final family photo of me with my current hair do for 3/14, then on Tuesday, 3/16, I plan on chopping my hair short. That way when it starts falling out, it won't be such a shocker.

So, that's all I got for now... Waiting on the MRI of my L2 vertebrae and waiting to start chemo. I've been trying to keep my mind busy and not think to far ahead.

THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE FOR THE THOUGHTS, PRAYERS, CARDS, MEALS, COOKIES, & SUCH. My family really appreciates it!

And the fight begins!

VICTORY WILL BE MINE!!

My wonderful mother suggested I start blogging my journey through this new "chapter" in my life! So, here it is and I promise to keep it updated as often as I can. Something tells me that I will have quite a bit of free time to do so. :P

I guess since I haven't written in such a long time and update is in order.

Kennedy is now 15 months old and such a blessing in my life. She is meeting all her milestones and keeping her mother on her toes! She managed to climb an entire flight of steps by herself without me knowing today - thankfully I found her before she attempted to come down them.



But she isn't the reason for the sudden interest of update of this blog and in fact - this blog may take on a whole new life. Keep on reading and you'll see what I mean...

FEBRUARY 14, 2010
I found a lump on my left breast. Sure, I've felt lumps before, but this one felt different. Hard, big, and suspicious... I informed my husband of my finding who reassured me it was probably nothing, not to worry, and we would call my OB in the morning.

FEBRUARY 15, 2010
I called my new OB's office who agreed to see me at 5:15pm that evening. The only appointment they had available. Chris, my husband, drove me since the snow was falling pretty fast and the roads were getting slick.

I went to my appointment at Greater Pittsburgh OB-Gyn in Moon. The doctor believes that the lump is a Fibroadenoma since there isn't a family history of cancer.

They scheduled me for an ultrasound at 8am. After the results come back, the doctor said she would call to discuss where we go from there (i.e whether or not it is what she thinks it is or worse, cancerous). Most likely she said the lump will need removed and I will need surgery. The nice thing though is she is pretty sure it is benign.

FEBRUARY 16, 2010
So I went to Magee this morning (which took me two hours coming from Moon, left at 7am, got there at 9am) for my ultrasound. I was surprised that even though I was late, they took me as soon as my paper work was filled out. I had my ultrasound and then another one immediately afterward with the doctor in the room. I was kind of surprised that the doctor actually came in to look at the ultrasound himself and actually maneuver the wand around himself. After all the technician had been saving the images and capturing the many angles of my "lump." By the time the second ultrasound was done there were two doctors (Dr. Loo & Dr. Hoffman), a second gentleman who they identified, but unsure of his role, and the ultrasound technician...

I was then whisked away for a mammogram which struck me as odd considering just after getting settled in, one of the nurses told me I was too young at 31 to need or even be considered for one since we have no family history of breast cancer. I just went with the flow and didn't think twice about it while they squeezed both breasts and took images from multiple angles.

I then was told to wait because a biopsy would be needed and they had to get the script from my doctors office. It didn't take too much longer and before I knew it a third Dr. was doing yet another ultrasound. It was just me, her, & another technician in the room. She asked if the other doctor's had told me anything and of course I said no, that everyone had been hush, hush, but at that point things started to seem odd and out of place to me. Multiple doctors in the ultrasound room, the sudden need for the mammogram, and not letting me leave without the biopsy.... As the third Dr. (Dr. Charmin?) was looking around on the monitored, she turned it to me and said well I hate to be the one to say this to you, but I am fairly certain it is cancer. At this point I was in shock... She stated she has seen lots of images in her career and would not have said anything if she wasn't pretty sure. I asked her before we began if she would be the one to talk to my husband, since he was home taking care of Kennedy.

The biopsy started and the other female Dr. (Dr. Loo?) joined the room to assist. It took about an hour and three shots of lidocaine to remove the samples they needed. My wound was dressed and I got my discharge papers and a list of surgeons.

Dr. Hoffman, who was the most senior of the doctors present today, called Chris and filled him in, but never mentioned cancer. He stated that we will only know for sure in 3-5 business days. Only the one doctor and the technician referenced cancer and even did so with Dr. Loo in the room. Her mannerisms suggested she agreed with other doctor's statement but would not speak anything of it, which I assume is because of liability reasons.

I know it is about 2-3cm in size and not a cyst. That was all the information I got from my appointment today...

FEBRUARY 18, 2010
Today is the day I got the news: CANCER. So, I just got off the phone with Dr. Hutchinson at Greater Pittsburgh OB-GYN. They informed me that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma - Nuclear Grade 3. No clue what this means, but it doesn't sound good. They said they don't have all of the information yet as the samples are still going through the staining process. I meet with Dr. Ronald Johnson at Magee on Monday at noon to develop a plan of attack and get more information.

FEBRUARY 22, 2010
My husband, mom, dad and I made the trip to Magee this morning for my appointment with Dr. Johnson, my surgeon. He was very thorough, but really didn't have a ton of new information for us as my biopsy results haven't come back yet. He explained that he wants me to see an oncologist first and go from there.

He has me set up for a battery of tests which start tomorrow... I have an appointment tomorrow at Magee with the oncologist, then a bone scan. So, I will be at the hospital all day again tomorrow.

Wednesday I have a CT/PET Scan.

I also am awaiting a phone call from a genetic specialist doctor to see if the cancer is just "bad luck" or "bad genes" since we really do not have history of breast cancer in my family. I am almost hoping this is just a case of bad luck. If it is the opposite, my sister, nieces, mom, and Kennedy will have to be tested to see if they carry the gene. That just scares the daylights out of me. I am also worried because if it is bad genes, the mention of a double mastectomy was brought up.

Right now we are still in the dark on the "signature" of this cancer. Once we know the make-up, a lot of our questions will be answered... As of right now Dr. Johnson and the rest of my family is praying for a case of bad luck, that we can shrink the cancer mass with chemo, and remove what little might remain and limit the amount of reconstruction needed. He wants me to undergo Chemo while I am healthy and not undergoing it while recovery from major surgery. Makes sense to me...

FEBRUARY 23, 2010
To say my husband and I are exhausted would be an understatement. This week has been CRAZY! I never imagined our world would be tossed upside down by cancer.

Today we met with the oncologist. We were at Dr.'s for over 3 hours this morning. They still do not have all the answers. My HER-2 number? is still undergoing testing/further analysis. Until they get that back we won't know which forms of chemo or trials I might be able to undergo.

I did learn that our ability to have children in the future will be compromised. I was essentially told that I can see a fertility specialist, undergo treatments, and save some embryo's in the event we can not get pregnant after I beat this or we can get started with chemo as early as next week. My husband and I have had a lot to digest over this past week, so we agreed to meet with the fertility doctor Thursday to get the full scoop. Supposedly the chemo ages me (my eggs/uterus) 10+ years and will possibly put me into early menopause. But our doctor said there was a chance we could still get pregnant without help once I am healthy again. I think this was the hardest news we got today. I know in my heart my family isn't complete, but my husband doesn't feel right about creating embryo's for a "what if" situation when the percentage of not needing them is greater than 50%. I guess the fertility doctor is just going to clarify the details and present a clear picture for us.

Other than that, the only other real news we know is that the cancer is estrogen-receptor positive. Another reason for us NOT to do hormone injections. It will only help "feed" the cancer.

Tomorrow I get a CT/PET Scan. Thursday is the fertility doctor & a MUGA Scan. And Monday we go back to the oncologist to discuss chemo. They want to start that right away.

Thanks again for all the prayers, thoughts, and offers for help. My husband and I both appreciate them.

FEBRUARY 24, 2010
Today was a rough one... The fertility doctor told us that our chances of conceiving a child post chemo without help are about 10%. We were informed of our options and have decided against harvesting any eggs and creating embryo's. Both my husband and i are pretty religious and are placing our faith in God. When all is said and done, if we are blessed with another child, then GREAT, WONDERFUL.... If not, then that is fine too. Many options exist today - adoption is a definite possibility for us. Plus we feel blessed to have Kennedy. A healthy, vibrant, beautiful little girl who need her mother to FIGHT this demon. I plan on being here for a long time and hope to make her proud one day.

We almost canceled the fertility doctor appointment and I am sooo glad we didn't. Another option was presented to us that I believe Chris and I are going to do, with the approval of my oncologist. Essentially I would be given a shot called Lupron which would shut down my reproductive system, placing me in menopause essentially. So instead of me releasing an egg each month, those eggs could be saved and give us that much more of a shot to hopefully have a second child one day, God willing.

WHEW! Well, sorry about that being one overwhelming entry!!! Hopefully my next posts won't be as long. :-)

WHAT'S NEXT?
Well, tomorrow I get stuck again and have MORE blood word to see if my liver can tolerate the Lupron and Monday we go back to the oncologist to hopefully get some much desired answers.

Thanks in advance for all the thoughts, well wishes, and prayers. Chris, myself and my family certainly appreciate them!!!

7 Months Old!

I can not believe how times flies. Kennedy is now 7 months old and such an amazing blessing in our lives. Here are some recent pictures. Enjoy! ;-)

3 Months Old

My First Boat Ride

7 Months Old - Playing Dress Up

Welcome Baby Kennedy!

So, many months have passed since I last blogged and A LOT has changed to say the least!

The most important change is that of the birth of our daughter, Kennedy Elizabeth. Surprisingly Chris & I got pregnant right away. I am grateful for that and reminded every day what a blessing baby Kenni is in our lives.

My pregnancy was far from perfect, but I can honestly say I enjoyed being pregnant, up until the last month or so. It was then that I had to go for weekly blood tests, NST's, and weekly office visits. My blood pressure decided to shoot up causing the doctors to get concerned.

On November 7th my blood pressure went really high, so my OB changed my blood pressure medication. On Saturday, the 8th, it continued to fluctuate and crept up really high again. So with the doctors orders to go back to the hospital, Chris and I were on our way to Ohio Valley for them to monitor me. If I remember correctly, they kept me until morning and sent me on my way home. The doctor said I just needed to give the medication some more time to "kick in." That same day it was all over the place and the medication did not seem to help. The next day, Monday the 10th, I called the OB's office and insisted they see me right away.

The rest is history!

Here are some pictures of our bouncing baby girl! We are thrilled to have Kennedy in our lives.

Round two!

Here we go again....

I am ovulating, so let's try this baby making venture out yet again. I was so excited, one test wasn't enough, so here they are!

Always something, huh?

There never seems to be a dull moment... Even routine errands to the post office seem to find a way of spicing things up.

Check this photo out.

Yup, I did that all by myself. There goes my laptop fund. :-(

Roller coaster ride, anyone?

Anyone ever hear of such a thing as a chemical pregnancy? Well, I learned the hard way.

We had a roller coaster of a weekend a few weeks back. Two Saturday's after our return from Jamaica I was planning on heading out to the Minute Clinic at CVS. I think I had picked up some sort of rash/bug bite on our trip. My legs had little pimple like bites on them and they were so itchy!!! Before I went though, I stopped and thought I better take a pregnancy test. I knew they were going to ask me if I was pregnant before they would prescribe me anything. So, the roller coaster starts, I pee in a dixie cup and stick the little strip in and sit and wait, and wait, and wait.... Finally the three minutes pass and I look down and see the faintest second line. I am too excited and hoping to see that second line so I ask Chris to look... He agreed there was a faint pink line. So, being that I still had my dixie cup I rummaged under the sink for my stash of tests and dipped the EPT stick in, looking to see if there was a plus sign. Three minutes pass and yet another faint line. I think I repeated this four or five times... All with the same results...

So, off to the Minute Clinic I go with my pregnancy sticks in hand and my itchy legs in tow. (Notice the tests are now more important). After waiting what seemed like an eternity (an hour to be precise), it was my turn to enter and have my few minutes with the nurse. Long story short, I showed the tests, showed my legs, and he sent me on my way with nothing. He couldn't do anything because according to my little tests, I was pregnant. Those annoying little bites, they were just some type of chigger bite.

So, naturally, I freak out and meet one of my best buds for lunch, who also sneaks a peak at my nasty peed on sticks. She agrees, but says she thinks I should take a digital before we get too excited. So, after lunch we head to Target. Before I even purchased the test I am in the little bathroom by the pharmacy peeing on a stick and again the waiting begins... This one confirms it and I am so excited I could scream! I show Jen the stick and all is confirmed. I can't believe this happened after only a month of trying.

We go on the rest of the day, going through all the emotions, shock, to fear, to excitement. We head out for dinner to Buca and I am actually okay with the idea of forgoing that beer. After all, our baby is in me. I figured out I was about 5 1/2 weeks pregnant and went crazy. I spent over $100 on books at Barnes & Noble that day.

Sunday morning came and I was excited and nervous. I felt something just wasn't right. I got up and decided to pee on another test stick, just to see if the lines were darker. To my shock, nothing appeared but the test line. Panic set in, could this really be happening? Maybe it is just a bad test. After all you are more likely to get a false negative than a false positive, right? Well, after a trip to K-Mart for more digital tests, I had about 7 tests all saying negative sitting on the bathroom counter. I tested every time I went to the bathroom with the same results.



Chris was awesome. He wasn't going to let this get me too down in the dumps, although I spent a good bit crying on Sunday. He kept reminding me that we need a doctor and we didn't know anything. He wouldn't let me go back to bed and mope, but instead made me shower and drug me to church. We left right after communion (I wasn't feeling really churchy) and went to lunch at Bocktown. He then spent the day with me keeping me going. We spent 8 hours cleaning and tossing crap away. Working on the house so that if the doctor did give us good news we would feel like we were a step ahead. I know it sounds weird, but on Saturday I had a little freak out after the positive test. There was so much to get done and nine months was not going to be enough time.

The next morning, I called Greater Pittsburgh OBGYN. They wouldn't seem me until I was 8 weeks along. They told me to "wait it out," and either I would get my period/miscarry or keep progressing. I couldn't just wait this out. It was taking it's tool on me and I had to know. I thought I was crazy. After a long run around with them and two hours of back and forth phone messages I decided they were not the OBGYN for me. I went back to my old practice that has new doctors and called them. I was thoroughly impressed. They told me to come right in. The doctor spent almost a full half hour with me. Going over my medication, making suggestions, and telling me how we would proceed next. I then went to Ohio Valley for blood work, which the doctor put a rush on. I would know within an hour what was going on with me.

I got home, exhausted from the highs and lows, and took a nap. I awoke to the Dr.'s office calling me. I wasn't crazy, I was pregnant and the blood work still showed me pregnant, but the baby was dying. I was having a miscarriage. My hcg levels were only at 4, they needed to be at 20 for a home test to pick up. That meant my numbers were decreasing and the pregnancy wasn't viable. I was crushed. I learned what a chemical pregnancy was the hard way.

The good news is we can start trying again as soon as we ovulate, but it is hard, sitting here waiting for the miscarriage/period process to begin. The funny thing is I may have never known about the pregnancy it I didn't have those stupid bites on legs.